Something borrowed, something blue... something way off budget

Planning a wedding isn't easy — stress is high and so are expenses. The key is to cut costs by compromising

By Julia Cyboran

A Barrie, ON, pediatrician was overjoyed to hear that his eldest daughter had decided to tie the knot. The 29-year-old broke the news to the family over dinner, with the date planned for sometime in summer 2007. She must have done some homework. Most wedding planners suggest you take 12 months to plan the nuptials. That's not to say something grand can't be tossed together in a few months.

Regardless of the distant date, the Barrie ped can't help but be swept up in the excitement — after all it's his little girl that he'll be escorting down the aisle. He can picture it now, the flowers, the music — and the debt.

CATHEDRAL-SIZED COSTS
The price tag for a wedding can vary from a few thousand to as much as (wait for it) $100,000 depending on the type of ceremony, reception and the number of guests. The average cost is more modest, but still pricey, at around $22,000, for about 170 guests. If you want all the bells and whistles (chocolate fountain or ice sculpture, just two of a myriad of options that are in vogue), the tab quickly mounts. Wedding in the offing with the bills slated to be sent to you? Before you panic and liquidate your RRSPs, wait. Things aren't nearly as traditional as they used to be and there are easy ways to cut costs.

Set a budget and stick to it. Compromise. If, to stay within budget, it's either the ice sculpture or flowers on each table, choose one or the other, not both. Time and again you'll be faced with this kind of decision. Your heart will say one thing, your head another.

A couple needs to decide what they want before they hammer out the details of a wedding budget. Will this be a traditional affair or something more quaint and intimate? What do they absolutely have to have and what are they willing to give up? The tighter the budget the more important it is for the couple to prioritize.

The bride's family used to be stuck with the bulk of the costs. But today families on both sides share the expenses. Other couples opt to pay for the whole shebang themselves. About half the cost of the wedding is spent on the reception. As a rule of thumb, allow about $100 for each guest, so you can save a lot by slashing the guest list. That's not always the preferred option regardless of who foots the bill. Instead, enter the exercise with a sense of compromise and you can trim costs. Consider these options:

• Offer a complimentary wine and beer bar and a cash bar for spirits.
• Go for a smaller cake. After all, guests will have been through a four-course meal and might not have room for all that chocolate mouse.
• Think of more modest invitations and set up a free email account for RSVPs (and a phone number for the more technologically-challenged).
• Opt for less elaborate flower arrangements, or pick flowers that are in season.
• Give guests homemade favours instead of the traditional and admittedly tacky variety.
• Rent (or borrow) a single fancy car for the bride and groom instead of a troupe of limos.
• Instead of a long sit-down dinner go for a buffet or cocktail party instead.
• Have the wedding during off-season, usually October to March.
• Book a DJ instead of a live band.

GIVE A LITTLE, SAVE A LOT
Parents beware: this is where you have to try to butt out. It really is your kid's day and if they prefer something more bohemian, let them have it. You can make some requests, but try to remember who's walking down that aisle.

Couples to-be also have to learn to give a little. Yes, they do have to bite the bullet and invite great Aunt Ida.

Ultimate low cost strategy: Encourage the love birds to elope.