TRUE TO FORM
Elizabeth Berg
Atria Books, 2002

Elizabeth Berg is a former nurse who has written over a dozen novels on families and their interpersonal relationships. Three of her novels deal with Katie Nash who, in this the most recent instalment, is now a thirteen-and-half-year-old living in 1961.

As any teenager would, Katie's looking forward to her summer vacation and relaxation time. But her widower army dad has other plans. She's been commanded to babysit the three Wexler boys 'from hell' who are six, seven and eight and she's to help the elderly Mr Randolph take care of his bedridden wife Elsie. Two jobs that no teenager in her right mind would want to do.

On top of it all she knows she is a 'loser' along with her best 'loser' friend Cynthia whose mother has just become a Girl Scout leader and is � gasp � forcing her daughter to join.

What makes the book a good read is Berg's keen understanding of the human condition. The book rings true on relationships, be they between friends or between husbands and wives. It shows how easy it is to hurt someone with words and how hard it is to go forward in life.

Although definitely chick-lit, all parents would do well to read it as should any tweens/young teens.
� Dr Markus Martin

MUSIC

MARQUEE MOON
Television
Electra, 1977

Musical genres often start as narrow categories in their infancy only to branch out like the mouths of the Ganges. This pattern can be seen in jazz, rock and roll, techno and more. Punk rock is a very different animal. The music's origins were deeply connected with a particular place and time � lower east side New York in the mid-1970s. Punk rock simply described the sounds emanating from members of the scruffy vanguard who frequented the seedy dive CBGB's. Blondie, the Talking Heads, Suicide and Television were all called 'punk' but sounded nothing like the dull-witted 'punk rock' of today. The Ramones stand alone as the only one of the early New York CBGB's bands to bear any resemblance to Blink 182, Pennywise and countless other modern 'punks.'

Television is perhaps the most subtle of the original punk bands. Led by Tom Verlaine (n� Miller) the group's songs combined edgy lyrics (inspired by Spanish poets Lorca, Jimenez and Vallejo) with delicate interplay between the dual guitars, bass and drums.

Marquee Moon was Television's first and best LP. It was the work of four fiercely independent musicians working within their space. All followed the brilliant blueprints of Verlaine's songs. One highlight of many is the epic title track where Richard Lloyd and Tom Verlaine's Fenders weave a sonic Bayeux Tapestry of Gotham's grit and glory.

This was not a group of friends. And Verlaine was a tyrant, who didn't follow the advice of his own lyrics: "elevation, don't go to my head!" The band channelled intra-band tension (and sometimes outright hostility) into its music making a nasty break-up inevitable. The divorce happened in 1978 shortly after the release of Adventure, their second album.
�Abe Koenigsberg

FILM

Everything you wanted to know about sex * but were afraid to ask
Dir: Woody Allen
United Artists, 1972
DVD release 2000

Woody Allen's very liberal take on Dr David Rueben's sex-ed bible is a comedic romp into parody and cheap sketch comedy. Be forewarned, this is a very dirty movie and aims low � very low. The jokes are often crass but sometimes cute and may have you thinking, "how clever." Mr Allen � who wrote, directed and starred in the film � takes seven actual chapters from Dr Rueben's book and then transforms them into little cinematic ditties: "Do Aphrodisiacs Work?"; "What Is Sodomy?"; "Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm?"; "Are Transvestites Homosexuals?"; "What Are Sex Researchers Actually Accomplishing?"; "What Are Sexual Perversions?"; and "What Happens During Ejaculation?" All deal in outlandish imagery and mock many pop culture icons. He touches on Shakespeare, Fellini, TV game shows, and science fiction.

Although each chapter has its funny moments, of the seven, there are two that stand out. In the 'Italian scene' ("Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm?") Mr Allen plays Fabrizio � a suave, slick-styled stallion who happens to be a tad gauche in the boudoir. Fabrizio is having a hard time dealing with his frigid wife. But he's persistent. In an effort to excite his darling Gina he sheepishly whispers "foreplay... foreplay... foreplay... foreplay..." into her ear as clumsily tries to caress her.

The other scene that tops the list is the final sketch of the film ("What Happens During Ejaculation?") which takes you inside the body of a man who's about to 'score.' It features Tony Randall as the brain guide and Burt Reynolds as his assistant. Mr Allen plays a nervous sperm who's reluctant to fulfill his sperm-ly duties when his day arrives. Before being catapulted into oblivion he wonders aloud: "What if he's only masturbating? I'll end up on the ceiling somewhere!"
� Carla Sparks